Confusion

Confusion...
I have it.

I'm not sure why I have it. I've been struggling with a strange sensastion the past few months. I have no words to describe it. Almost a strange dizzy unsteadiness mixed with a tingling in my torso. Previously I just thought it was something that was diet or maybe time of the month related because it wasn't a persistent issue. Lately though it has been very persistent. The only thing I could think of that would relate to this would be an inner ear issue, but I thought those were supposed to go away when you lie down and I have this all the time. From waking up in the morning to going to bed at night.

I'm becoming miserable with this sensation. I don't know how to describe it, everyone I try describing it to has no idea what I'm trying to communicate, so I don't know what I would even begin to say to a doctor about what it is. Then again no one I have talked to about this is actually a doctor so maybe a doctor would have a better idea.

Ugh confusion...
I have it.

embrace.

Epiphany!!!

I just had the biggest epiphany!
Doctors must hate the internet!!!!! With all the information out there these days, they must get people with a sprained ankle come in claiming they looked it up online and are positive they have arthritis and want a second opinion. I have to admit that I am guilty of doing this myself. More to the degree of, the doctor mentioned he is running a blood test for this and I'm not sure what it is exactly so lets read up on it and freak myself out!!!
I can't imagine how many people come in claiming the internet told them they have symptoms of cancer and want to know how long they have left to live!!
Ok thats exagerating a little... but I'm positiive at least one person in the whole wide world has done that. If not when I go to the doctors tomorrow I will do it!

Thats all for tonight. I'm sure I'll have an interesting post tomorrow about doctors and waiting rooms and peeing in cups!

embrace.

New ways for a new generation

Could things be anymore different than they used to be?
Here I am sitting in my room writing a post for my blog for all the world to read... Ten years ago did anyone know what a blog was? Five years ago even...
I've been thinking about how much as changed from generation to generation. Fifty years ago people were high school sweethearts and got married. Susan stayed home to take care of the family while Jim went off to work everyday. She would spend the day looking after the children and vacuuming in pearls and heels and manage to have a pot roast and a homemade apple pie on the table by 5 when he came home from work. He supports the family completely and they are never in want of anything.
Now... times have changed. Mom doesn't get the luxury of staying home anymore. Even if she just works part time she still has to help support the family at least a little. Meals are hardly ever consumed together and when they are more times than not the TV is on in the background. Kids go to school then come home and watch TV or play games on the computer. The isnt's such a thing as high school sweethearts anymore. People are falling in love without ever actually seeing one another (thanks to the internet). Premarital sex is no longer looked down on but expected and considered normal. Drugs are no longer something done in secret for fear of getting caught but done in public for all to see.
All that to say it's amazing how times change. I'm all for internet relationships providing that you go about them in a sensible safe manner... not of course he is who he says he is!!!! I met him on myspace! MYSPACE MOM! Everyone is who they say they are on myspace! Believe me, there is such a thing as being too trusting and I know that from experience... I find it fascinating that I will one day possibly be able to say 'oh yes, I met my husband over the internet. It was love at first type!'

Wow... side note, that was a really corn-ball moment there. Cold drugs must be affecting me...

I'm just fascinated! It's crazy! At the same time I wish at least some of the innocence of the past had been preserved. I wish that when my doctor asked me if I was sexually active and I said I 'No' that they actually believed me and not that I'm lying to keep my parents from finding anything out. I wish they also believed me when I said I don't drink or smoke. Some innocence must be preserved at some point or I hate to think of what the world will look like for my children...

embrace.

Who knew?

I went to the store today. I wore my newly acquired pro candidate shirt. We'll say Candidate *X* for all intensive purposes. I bought cold meds. (Ugh! I'm getting sick!!! SHIT!) As usual at the check out they asked for my ID due to the drugs being purchased. The guy was a TOTAL JERK. I said man I understand that this is a necessary evil because we don't need more meth heads on the street, but it means that it will take me that much longer to get home and take it and I'm sick and I'm tired and I just wanna go home...
So the guy looks at me and my Candidate *X* shirt and smirks and wont even make eye contact. He's very flippant and impatient with me. I'm thinking whatever give me my damn drugs and I'll be on my way. As I'm walking off I hear him start talking to the man that was behind me and saying I am a ____ and voting for Candidate *Y* and can't stand when people come through with pro Candidate *X* shirts come through.
Oh man it took everything I had not to march right back up to him and spit in his face for treating me so poorly over politics. UGH! This is one of the reasons I hate politics, it is dividing our country almost completely!!! Why don't we just quit wasting our time with all this and actually split up. 3 new nations. You get to move whereever your favorite politicians go. Democrats one side republicans on the other and a middle ground for the people who just can't make up their damn minds and wanna hop between the two.
I find it exhausting. Just leave me alone and let me run my own damn country.
I feel like hell... I'm going to bed.

embrace.