This week is the beginning my three weeks of crazyness. I will be a regular globe trotter hoping from one place to another, goodness only knows where I'll be tomorrow. I've been preparing for weeks trying to get all my things packed and ready to go. Whenever I leave my place I always do a major overhaul of cleaning, because the last thing I want to do is run around like a crazy person and then come home to filth and not have anytime to relax before I have to start cleaning again.
Over the past few crazy days, (two munchkin birthday parties, a bridal shower, and a wedding) I've been thinking about how great it is to be surrounded by people you love and enjoy. For me that is all I want in life. Surround myself with people that inspire me to do better things with my life and people that uplift me instead of those people that can only bring you down. It's a good goal to have.
embrace.
19.5.08
12.5.08
Used to think
So I used to think that it was so nice to be out of high school (I dropped out sophomore year). So glad that I was away from all the drama, that I could finally begin a life where what you wear and who you know and what you do don't matter. Boy was I ever wrong. I went shopping today, for the first time in ages, with a friend I've known since high school. We were browsing the 60% off rack and I found what I thought was a really funky fun shirt, and the moment I pointed it out I was shot down as being fasion senseless and all that implies. Now being one that could could care less about what I wear I wasn't phased but it made me realise that I still live in a world that is controlled by everything that high school is controlled by.
It's exhausting. I dropped out of high school to get away from that and here I realise some years later I just quickened my exposure to the same game only on a much much larger scale. It makes me sick that people spend so much time, not to mention so much MONEY on trying to impress others. Let me just say that the most impressive thing you can do is be your own damn person. Why do you have to be what other people think you should be. It's is a concept that I honestly cannot wrap my brain around. It's like trying to explain color to a blind person, they've never seen it so it is impossible to put it on a level they understand. I'm a blind person in the sense that I don't get why people find it to be such a big deal.
Sure I remember in middle school trying to impress the 'in' crowd. I bought many a pair of (gasp) flared bell bottoms to be accepted by anyone I could. When I got to high school I realized I don't give a shit anymore, I was so tired of trying to force my way into peoples groups. Now it is still the same. I can't stand the fact that everything is a status symbol.
My message to you for today is to just be whoever the fuck you what to be. If you want to wear a bright orange poncho and lime green shorts then wear it damnit! Who give a fucking hell if Paris Hilton or whoever wont wear it, you would so do it!
I'm done ranting.
embrace.
P.S. You're wondering if I bought the 'totally hideous' shirt aren't you .... you bet your ass I did.
It's exhausting. I dropped out of high school to get away from that and here I realise some years later I just quickened my exposure to the same game only on a much much larger scale. It makes me sick that people spend so much time, not to mention so much MONEY on trying to impress others. Let me just say that the most impressive thing you can do is be your own damn person. Why do you have to be what other people think you should be. It's is a concept that I honestly cannot wrap my brain around. It's like trying to explain color to a blind person, they've never seen it so it is impossible to put it on a level they understand. I'm a blind person in the sense that I don't get why people find it to be such a big deal.
Sure I remember in middle school trying to impress the 'in' crowd. I bought many a pair of (gasp) flared bell bottoms to be accepted by anyone I could. When I got to high school I realized I don't give a shit anymore, I was so tired of trying to force my way into peoples groups. Now it is still the same. I can't stand the fact that everything is a status symbol.
My message to you for today is to just be whoever the fuck you what to be. If you want to wear a bright orange poncho and lime green shorts then wear it damnit! Who give a fucking hell if Paris Hilton or whoever wont wear it, you would so do it!
I'm done ranting.
embrace.
P.S. You're wondering if I bought the 'totally hideous' shirt aren't you .... you bet your ass I did.
3.5.08
I've been thinking on emotions lately and how they impact our lives. Being raised in our society we come to use our emotions to guide us more times than not. I feel crappy I want to eat the whole pint of Ben & Jerry's, or I'm pissed I want to beat something to a pulp. Every decision we make is based upon how we feel about something, and due to that we have horrible consequences when things don't end up the way we thought they would because we're so emotionaly involved. I wish there were a way that we could keep them all seprate, only devote our emotions to things worth devoting them to. The very fact that emotion drives our decisions means the we take for granted the emotions we have. If everytime you say I love you to someone you don't really mean it, it lessens the value of the word in your life, and the lives of others around you. If we all take a step back and look at what we truly believe the word love means, then did we really fall in love with Timmy in the fifth grade?
I think that emotions are far to serious of a control device in our lives to be toyed with. Someone who has shown their true emotions and vulnerability to someone then been torn apart by that same person might feel that the emotions are not worth what you originally thought they were. Example:
Susy's family asked her grandparents to move in with them when their health started to decline. The grandparents accepted and the move was made. Of course there was an adjustment period for everything to come together and turn into a well oiled family machine. There was only one kink in the works, Susy's grandma. She came into the situation looking to be an authority figure and another person to help raise and form the children to her liking. Little did she know that was not the case. Susy tried to honor her parents choice and treat her grandma with respect opening up to her and letting her see the vulnerable side of her, a side very few people ever got to see. One day Susy was home sick from school and her grandma came up to ask her to walk to dog, Susy responded that she was sick and the was the last thing she wanted to do. Grandma proceeded to tell Susy that she was a worthless piece of crap with nothing redeamable about her, just a void in society as blank as a sheet of white paper.
See with Susy she opened up and shared what she was thinking was her true self with her grandma, her passions and her dreams. In one simple sentance her grandma threw that all out the window making it seem as though the way her emotions had been leading her had been pointless and void of all meaning.
I'm not saying don't rely on emotion, sometimes it's a good thing. All I mean to say is that maybe be cautious of where your emotions take you and who you share them with.
embrace.
I think that emotions are far to serious of a control device in our lives to be toyed with. Someone who has shown their true emotions and vulnerability to someone then been torn apart by that same person might feel that the emotions are not worth what you originally thought they were. Example:
Susy's family asked her grandparents to move in with them when their health started to decline. The grandparents accepted and the move was made. Of course there was an adjustment period for everything to come together and turn into a well oiled family machine. There was only one kink in the works, Susy's grandma. She came into the situation looking to be an authority figure and another person to help raise and form the children to her liking. Little did she know that was not the case. Susy tried to honor her parents choice and treat her grandma with respect opening up to her and letting her see the vulnerable side of her, a side very few people ever got to see. One day Susy was home sick from school and her grandma came up to ask her to walk to dog, Susy responded that she was sick and the was the last thing she wanted to do. Grandma proceeded to tell Susy that she was a worthless piece of crap with nothing redeamable about her, just a void in society as blank as a sheet of white paper.
See with Susy she opened up and shared what she was thinking was her true self with her grandma, her passions and her dreams. In one simple sentance her grandma threw that all out the window making it seem as though the way her emotions had been leading her had been pointless and void of all meaning.
I'm not saying don't rely on emotion, sometimes it's a good thing. All I mean to say is that maybe be cautious of where your emotions take you and who you share them with.
embrace.
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