Ever

Ever try your hardest only to know it isn't good enough?
Ever spend an eternity trying only to fail?
I am torn.
I know only what is before me,
blinding me.
A symphony falling on deaf ears.
Blinding lights behind me,
emptyness before me.
Running away.
Held back by torn restraints.
Miserable.
Bleeding.
Screaming.
Nothing above a whisper.
Useless.
Where is it that I go from here?
Right choices are far behind.
All that's left are mistakes.
One night, wishing to be forgotten.
Engraved into my soul.
Why would it be?
I wish for lightness,
weighted down by torture.
Lay on my side,
sleep the waste away.
Awake?
Renewed?
Doubtful and unfortunate.
Why is it hurting?
Twice now broken.
Popped for all.
The pain should be gone.
It is too fresh for me.
Tower behind the present.
Ignore the beauty.
There is none.

embrace.